stingvelvet

From Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung

2009-11-15T07:12:19Z

From the Cloud of Lester Bangs
Marsh—
You know that jive about “If there’s a rock and roll heaven, they must have a hell of a band”? Don’t believe it, pal.
All the talent went straight to Hell. All of it. The big acts up here are Jim Croce, Karen Carpenter, Cass Elliot, and— especially—Bobby Bloom! It’s a nightmare! If I have to hear that fucking “Montego Bay” even one more time, I may kill mysel…(ah, shit, keep forgetting).
Anyway, I apply for admission to Hell every six months but they keep turning me down, claiming—dig this: I’m too good hearted! Write ‘em and set ‘em straight, willya? Tell them just what an asshole I can be when I feel like it, Tell Uhelski to do the same. And Marcus. (By the way, make him cognizant how much I appreciate his wading through all my old writhing (with the “h”)
Met God when I first got here. I asked him why. You know, 33 and all. All he said was “M.T.V.” He didn’t want me to experience it, whatever the fuck it is.
Gotta run. Literally. Another herd of hoary Harp hacks heading here. Playing Zep’s “Stairway” of course. Fucking national anthem in this burg. Can’t believe nobody here is hip to the Elgins.
Take it from me, Dave. Heaven was Detroit, Michigan. Who woulda thunk it?
Eternally yours,
Bangs

Three words...

2009-11-07T05:03:49Z

Courvoisier...holy shit.

stingvelvet @ 2009-09-19T15:12:00

2009-09-19T19:13:45Z

Does it annoy anyone else when a pregnant friend says, "We find out the GENDER of the baby this week?" I'm sorry, but last time I checked there was no ultrasound for that. Just sayin'...

stingvelvet @ 2009-05-20T14:42:00

2009-05-20T18:47:57Z

I now have a Master's degree, and in two days my internship will be complete.

Now I just have to find a teaching job.

this is bad

2009-02-13T23:46:12Z

There is some cheap beer siting in my fridge right now, left over from some brats Curt made the other night.

Not just cheap beer...BUSCH beer...

...and I'm actually considering HAVING SOME...

...and I am a beer SNOB...

...This is what teaching high-schoolers does to you.

stingvelvet @ 2009-02-03T12:47:00

2009-02-03T17:49:30Z

I got a snow day on my birthday (since I'm a teacher and all). HOOOOOORRRRAAAYYY!!!!!!

I'm 24. Snowball fight, bitches.

stingvelvet @ 2009-01-31T15:32:00

2009-01-31T20:33:27Z

Happy birthday, Shanzi!

stingvelvet @ 2008-12-25T22:00:00

2008-12-26T03:00:28Z

I'm going to be a wife in two days.

Wow.

In other news, both Eartha Kitt AND Harold Pinter died on Christmas. Damn.

stingvelvet @ 2008-12-13T12:12:00

2008-12-13T17:19:44Z

Is it just me, or is common courtesy going the way of the dodo? I've always been pretty damn good (even when I'm crazy busy) about keeping in contact with people--especially regarding major life events.

My bachelorette party was last night, and three people showed up--two of whom planned it. Most of the girls they called for me--the girls I considered my closest friends--either didn't call back or made some half-assed comment about showing up only to blow it off. They had plenty of notice, too. Unfortunately...I'm used to this.

People, I'm getting married. This was my symbolic last big night with the girls, and most of them ditched me. Even my sister/maid-of-honor blew me off. I'm glad I at least had two amazing friends who worked hard to plan me a great party--and the one who showed up.

Lemme put it this way--I'm sick of this happening to me. If people are going to be like this, they are slowly going to fade from my life as I move on in it. And yknow? It's not really my loss. Fuck them.

Happy Thanksgiving.

2008-11-24T21:19:43Z

Fast Gas

2008-11-24T18:15:13Z

Before the days of self service,
when you never had to pump your own gas,
I was the one who did it for you, the girl
who stepped out at the sound of a bell
with a blue rag in my hand, my hair pulled back
in a straight, unlovely ponytail.
This was before automatic shut-offs
and vapor seals, and once, while filling a tank,
I hit a bubble of trapped air and the gas
backed up, came arcing out of the hole
in a bright gold wave and soaked me—face, breasts,
belly and legs. And I had to hurry
back to the booth, the small employee bathroom
with the broken lock, to change my uniform,
peel the gas-soaked cloth from my skin
and wash myself in the sink.
Light-headed, scrubbed raw, I felt
pure and amazed—the way the amber gas
glazed my flesh, the searing,
subterranean pain of it, how my skin
shimmered and ached, glowed
like rainbowed oil on the pavement.
I was twenty. In a few weeks I would fall,
for the first time, in love, that man waiting
patiently in my future like a red leaf
on the sidewalk, the kind of beauty
that asks to be noticed. How was I to know
it would begin this way: every cell of my body
burning with a dangerous beauty, the air around me
a nimbus of light that would carry me
through the days, how when he found me,
weeks later, he would find me like that,
an ordinary woman who could rise
in flame, all he would have to do
is come close and touch me.
© Dorianne Laux

just a thought...

2008-11-07T20:14:18Z

Basically, it is rude to make remarks about a person's weight without his/her permission, correct?

So why does the fact that I happen to be thin give people the impression that they have free rein to discuss my weight? Especially when the remarks are just downright nasty/inaccurate?

"You're itty bitty. I hate you"
"You have no right to complain"
"Your so freakin bony"
"Do you ever eat?"
"Don't eat that! You'll finally get fat!"
"You weigh, what, 80 pounds?"

It's not a huge deal, but the fact that I've heard this shit since I hit early childhood makes it increasingly annoying. I wish our society would get the FUCK over the body image thing anyway! Unless a person really is exhibiting self-destructive behavior in regards to weight, why do we care so much? In the next fifty years or so, the "ideal" body type is going to change anyway, so why waste so much energy?

Comments like the ones I hear are what cause eating disorders in the first place. In addition, having watched my brother and several very close friends battle anorexia and bullimia, I bristle even more at these nosy, misguided statements.

Get over it, people. We'll all look the same when we die.

Appreciation

2008-10-30T18:02:44Z

Crystal: We're buying a house! A HOUSE! Wow. That's bigger than a car, a dog, a a baby....well, I dunno about baby...

Curt: A baby is not an investment.

Crystal: Yes it is.

Curt. No. Babies don't appreciate.

(PS We meet to close on the house in TWO HOURS. Thoughts and prayers...)

stingvelvet @ 2008-10-26T21:10:00

2008-10-27T01:15:48Z

Today Curt was supposed to go with me and meet with Ms. J so we could select harp music for the wedding. He was with his friend Matt, who came in from VA., and they accidentally went by the clock in HIS car (an hour earlier, of course). It was time to go, and there was no sign of him, so I left without him...understandably pissed.

He called my cell and left a very sweet apology, explaining the situation. When I got back to the house, there was a bag of dark chocolate sitting on my keyboard.

I'm a lucky girl.

Oh, and I get to walk down the aisle to a harp version of "In My Life" by the Beatles. Sweet.

stingvelvet @ 2008-10-16T15:09:00

2008-10-16T20:09:33Z

I wanna start a band called Joe the Plumber. Who's with me?

stingvelvet @ 2008-10-12T22:36:00

2008-10-13T02:36:53Z

It's all happening...

stingvelvet @ 2008-10-08T14:41:00

2008-10-08T18:41:39Z

DAVID BYRNE IS COMING TO KNOXVILLE IN DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear MC

2008-10-06T18:21:38Z

Dear Mariah Carey,
I can tell you REALLY care about starving children. I love the fact that they shrink into the background of the ad while your big, glammed-up face practically jumps out at us all, beckoning us with bedroom eyes to feed the hungry. I would like to know how much you've contributed to the little children you have reduced to decoration for your image. I also like the makeup job--really plays up the contrast.

You're as bad as Sally Struthers.

Sincerely,
Crystal

stingvelvet @ 2008-10-01T15:49:00

2008-10-01T19:51:24Z

One of my students told me this morning that I was the only person besides her therapist that cared about her enough to ask if she was okay.

Wow.

ew.

2008-09-16T21:39:29Z

Spied on a sorority t-shirt today:

"Some girls go to college to find husbands.
In Pi Phi, I found my bridesmaids."

YUCK.

stingvelvet @ 2008-09-14T21:11:00

2008-09-15T01:12:17Z

Late afternoon, dreaming hotel
We just had the quarrel that sent you away.
I was looking for you, are you gone gone ?
Called you on the phone, another dimension.
Well, you never returned, oh you know what I mean.
I went looking for you, are you gone, gone ?

Down by the ocean it was so dismal,
Women all standing with a shock on their faces.
Sad description, oh I was looking for you.

Everyone was singing, girl is washed up
On redondo beach and everyone is so sad.
I was looking for you, are you gone gone ?
Pretty little girl, everyone cried.
She was the victim of sweet suicide.
I went looking for you, are you gone gone ?

Down by the ocean it was so dismal,
Women all standing with shock on their faces.
Sad description, oh I was looking for you.

Desk clerk told me girl was washed up,
Was small, an angel with apple blonde hair, now.
I went looking for you, are you gone gone ?
Picked up my key, didnt reply.
Went to my room, started to cry.
You were small, an angel, are you gone gone ?

Down by the ocean it was so dismal.
I was just standing with shock on my face.
The hearse pulled away, and the girl that had died, it was you.
You'll never return into my arms cause you were gone gone.
Never return into my arms cause you were gone gone.
Gone gone, gone gone, good-bye

stingvelvet @ 2008-09-02T23:02:00

2008-09-03T03:07:40Z

I had the fucking wind knocked out of me today.

A relationship is one of the most difficult things in the world to maintain, whether it's five weeks old or five years old. No wonder so many people can't manage. Never again will I let anyone tell me how lucky I am, or he is, because this is not luck. We have WORKED for this.

Marriage? Those are the big leagues.

We're not perfect. Not by a longshot. But I don't wanna be anywhere else. Five years and I'm crazy for him, and he fits, and he LOVES me. And I'm not always easy to love.

Love is down and dirty. It has to be, or it shrivels up and dies. But the payoff....the payoff. Well worth it.

Just thought I'd share

stingvelvet @ 2008-08-29T14:38:00

2008-08-29T19:38:39Z

Wowee if you only knew. I feel like a new woman.

stingvelvet @ 2008-08-01T09:41:00

2008-08-01T14:41:15Z

kill me.

Ringo

2008-07-28T04:41:40Z

Okay, so I have had a parakeet since I was 17. That is aLONG time for that type of bird to survive. He used to sit on my finger, but now he just bites.

Friends and lovers alike have come and gone, all having met Ringo. When I jet soon, I hope he survives the move.

That said...

I was 17 when I got that bird. I will never again purchase a caged animal unless the cage serves as mere bedding, allowing he/she to roam freely otherwise. I feel guilty for keeping a winged animal in a cage for six years. But that's all he knows now.

I'm sure that sounds crazy, but I've been thinking a lot about cages lately--physical and spiritual. I love that mean-ass little bird, but next time I'll do better.

Like I'm doing for myself, right now.

What an odd thing to blog about when you can't sleep...